Sometimes, like tonight, I remember what my life was like before my husband came home in 2004 and told me he a cancerous tumor in his mouth.
We used to go out to eat with friends, which is awkward for him now, because he doesn't eat. Knowing that, no one has asked us out in years. Movies, he's too tired. Visits, he just got his Dynovox machine that he types into and a voice comes out.
Sometimes, when I am really busy, like this week preparing 17 pieces to go out tomorrow, packing them in felt bags, 2 to a bag with bubble wrap covered cardboard between, I lose my center.
I just can feel it. This past week was a bear, including a fall when I was attempting to walk home from town. It is terrifying, lying in the middle of the road, unable to move, purse 4 feet away, no cars, as my street is quiet most of the time. I cried because I couldn't move and was afraid I hurt my fractured pelvis.
It was cold and damp, and I could feel moisture coming through the shoulder of my suede jacket. Finally, a woman came, then two men in a city truck. Everyone helped me into her car and she drove me home, only about six houses.
It turns out I am fine, just a bloody and scabbed knee. I was lucky this time.
Time to go back to yoga class. Very centering
Tonight, as I packed up my work, I looked at each piece, wondering who made such beautiful creations.
Then I went to my studio and worked some more.
Do your best,(Buddha's last words)
Lisabeth
