Sometimes fear is generalized, and somehow undistinguished from life, from living big which creativity seems to require. So, this crummy nebulous fear rears its ugly, scaly head whenever gumption comes to do something new or that has a possibility of failing. Creativity can have the tightrope quality, being on the rope, in the flow, whatever; yet we proceed with charybdis on the one hand and scilla on the other. Maybe I should say marketing on one side, failure on the other.
So What are your fears? Perhaps we can all list a bunch here and cast them off!
Being broke is a big fear. I do not want the starving artist moniker, so marketing is huge. I started a marketing campeign about three weeks ago and to date have had a lot of success with contacts. (See my update in the Marketing Group)
I want to be more afraid, I really do. The media tells me to be, the republicans want me to be afraid, the Catholic church says I have to fear God, my health insurer says I must fear being sick, and then there is the fear of being fearful.
Okay, I will name one DUMB one. Has anyone heard of an "actor's nightmare"? Where you dream of going onstage and you have forgotten all of your lines or somehow mess up the whole thing? Thats what I feel like sometimes when I begin a painting.
"I am a fraud. I don't know how to paint." seeps in... Not very often, but it does happen. Okay, I stated it. I feel better. LOL.
Back to the studio.. Barbara
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Barbara, It's so inspiring to find out I'm not the only fraud out there. Even in my day job - where I've proven myself again and again and where I've been honored by my peers - I still get the overwhelming fear sometimes that they're all going to find out I've been faking it all along. There are few things scarier in life to me than an empty canvas or a new graphics campaign that has to be created from scratch.
And in response to Gregory; Scilla and Charybdis don't scare me nearly as much as do the Sirens... Distractions can be - and, I dare say, are - my worst enemy. I am continually being dashed against the rocks of distraction.
Enough with the distractions - it's time to paint...
There are so many scary things "out there" today and, of course, for many it impacts creativity and courage. Regarding feeling a fraud, I can tell you that this must be a common human fear. For years as a teacher, I struggled wondering if I was doing enough, learning enough, professional enough to meet the needs of all my students - this in spite of being very respected in my field and with students who continually who had those all-important high test scores. Now focusing on my art, some of those same feeling creep in. Since it seems to cross the sexes, this must be human nature. It is easy to rob yourself of joy, isn't it?
Distraction. ADD. Procrastination. I am a master of them all. Learning to focus and prioritize is harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd. But I'm learning. :o)
